Who Will Follow Bradley?

[AreliusII]

With the effects of Bob Bradley's shock sacking as MetroStars' coach still reverberating across all fifty states, we asked a number of leading figures, both from within and outside the soccer world, who they thought would succeed him, and what they made of assistant coach Mo Johnston's appointment as interim coach.

President George Walker Bush

"Right now, after the terrible events of October 1st. [the day of the MetroStars' 1-4 home loss to DC United], New York needs strong leadership. My good friend Tom DeLay is out of a job right now. People might say he's underqualified, but I know this guy. I know his soul and I've stood on the porch of his house. And I think he may have coached Little League once. In a previous life."

Senator Sam Brownback, Senate Judiciary Committee member (Republican-Kansas)

"Mo Johnston may have played for Kansas City Wizards, but frankly I'm worried he may turn out to be a pro-abortion coach. We've already seen the consequences of too many aborted seasons at the MetroStars thanks to the liberal excesses of past coaches, and unless we appoint someone with a clear pro-life record then, frankly, God's just gonna keep on punishing them."

Eric Wynalda, TV pundit and former player

"I'd appoint myself, because obviously I'd do a better job than any of these other losers and incompetents that have failed so miserably up until now. But I'm too much of a rebel and a loose cannon for the MetroStars' so-called authorities to keep a handle on. I have to stay true to my true self, and a lot of people can't deal with that. F*** the MetroStars. See, now I've gone and said what I think. Probably ruined my chances of the job, though."

MetroStars' GM Alexi Lalas

"Whoo! Keep your eyes wide open, because this appointment is gonna raawwwwwk!! Right now we're in talks with Courtney Love, former Metallica lead guitarist Dave Mustaine, and Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh. We had to call off the coaching 'Double Paris dream team' of Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis, which we were going to tie in with the new stadium being shaped like the Eiffel Tower, but when the couple split up this week we had to shelve that idea. But mark my words, this franchise and this league needs an innovative kick in the butt, and from here on in it's gonna be a stadium-fillin', rollercoastin', lighters held aloft, socc'r rock n rollin' dreeeeeeam!! Yeeeeaaah!!!"

Paul Gardner, soccer journalist and commentator

"The appointment of the Scot Mo Johnston, even as an interim measure, is a disaster for US soccer. We already have Brits Colin Clarke at Dallas and Steve Nicol at New England imposing their own execrable brands of anti-Latino savagery under the guise of sport. Now we're going to be seeing even more heads down, lump it up, high ball, heinous, thoughtless, uncultivated Philistine tactics from the Dark Ages. I predict rolling blackouts in the greater New York metropolitan area, the spread of new strains of uncontrollable epidemics, and the possible end of both soccer and civilization as we know it."

Sigi 'Snooze Button' Schmid, coach and neo-TV pundit

"There's a job free at the MetroStars right now with the departure of coach Bob Bradley. Mo Johnston is now the interim coach. This means that at some point in the future there will be a permanent appointment, but it's difficult to say who that will be until they announce it. When they announce it I'll let you know who I think it is."

Ray Hudson, former DC United coach and TV 'color' commentator"

Great shame about Bob. Tremendous coach. Tremendous. But then there are plenty of lads out there big enough to fill his boots. There's Harkesy. A man's man, Harkesy, tremendous player, tremendous lad. Got balls on 'im like a rogue elephant, tattooed an' all. Then there's little Richie Williams. Sooner fillet his dyin' grandmother in public with a blunt machete than lose a game, Richie. Tremendous competitor, which is why I traded him to the MetroStars from DC. It was the best place for him to learn how to lose."

[SoccerPrime]

Stolen from MatchNight.com

[Rover]

Classic. But that could be a real Paul Gardner quote, hater of all things about British/Scandanavian soccer. Bozo.

At least Phil Ball made the big break and moved to Spain.

Still waiting for AlGore's opinion. I'm sure he has one. Or more.

Can't think of anyone who would want to live in New Jersey, work for Lalas, coach Razov, and got to work at Giants Stadium. I know, I know. But whoever takes the job will be fired before the new place opens.

[SoccerPrime]

Personally, I love the Hudson comment the most. That man is truly funny.

[Deuce]

Originally Posted by SoccerPrime

Stolen from MatchNight.com

Does that some how make this post more unique than alot of posts on this site?
Did you write the original?
Just curious.

[Jose Luis Luviano]

I wonder if Harrison's mayor will take the new Metrostars coach out to the local Private Clubs to prove that Harrison really is normal after all.

If the Metros' new coach has a Special Friend, will he be able to get the same health benefits?

Will the New Jersey state legislature appoint an Extra Virgin Porn Czarina so that videos of the Metros' '99 season aren't distributed?

[clarette]

Originally Posted by Jose Luis Luviano

Will the New Jersey state legislature appoint an Extra Virgin Porn Czarina so that videos of the Metros' '99 season aren't distributed?

Bwahahahahahaha!

Instead of rep, you now get a dancing banana. 🕺

[SoccerPrime]

Originally Posted by Deuce

Does that some how make this post more unique than alot of posts on this site?
Did you write the original?
Just curious.

Posters should always credit to where it was originally post:
http://www.matchnight.com/?Page=ARTICLE&articleid=750

[Deuce]

Originally Posted by SoccerPrime

Posters should always credit to where it was originally post:
http://www.matchnight.com/?Page=ARTICLE&articleid=750

Yes in a perfect world...
But I think "stolen" is a bit over the top.

Something like "Yes, I think I read that on Matchnight" would have sufficed.

just my $0.02 anyway...