Bush announces 'Day of Prayer' for MLS

AreliusII · 09-15-2005, 01:29 PM

President George Bush stunned the sports establishment today when he announced a 'Day of Prayer' for MLS in a bid to ensure its future.

"Garbie [Major League Soccer commissioner Don Garber] is doin' a heckuva job at the soccerball helm," the president told a private audience of the nation?s five soccer journalists. "But I think he might need a little help from the big guy above."

MLS officials had discreetly approached the federal government with a view to receiving funds for soccer infrastructure in areas such as training facilities and stadium development. But the request went straight to the top, and Bush announced, "I can do better than just handin' out money. I can pray with y'all!"

"Quite frankly," said a White House insider on condition of anonymity, "the president thinks it's soccer's only chance."

Analysts were unsurprised at the move, which will also double up as a Day of Remembrance for America's past failed pro soccer ventures, such as the American Soccer League and the North American Soccer League.

"It's the American way," said Dr. Horst Schmitt, a lecturer at Georgetown University's Faculty of Integrating Sport and Theology (FIST). "When we're faced with a problem and we have no clue what to do about it, we pray instead. Can soccer survive in the US? That question is out of our hands now. It's all up to God."

A spokesangel for God said, "She's kinda focused right now on causing a bunch of famines and drought in some hapless, impoverished, sin-soaked corner of the world. We'll get back to you, maybe. If you pray hard enough."

Hiddnfox · 09-15-2005, 02:13 PM

i dont want bush to pray for MLS. We all know the devil gets Bush's prayers.

prk166 · 09-15-2005, 02:51 PM

Oh my. I hope he doesn't say "You're doin' a good job, Garbie" cuz then you know things aren't going well for the MLS.

:D

Sctn37:20 · 09-15-2005, 02:57 PM

Bush Rocks!!!

HibaIssa · 09-15-2005, 03:00 PM

Not here too. 😛

DadOf8 · 09-15-2005, 10:10 PM

Everyone knows Bush hates soccer. He's a baseball fan. If he cared anything at all about soccer he'd do something to help out FC Dallas. It's pretty apparent to me that Bush hates soccer. (note sarcasm in post)